Why I am Thankful!

• I am thankful for the mess to clean up after a party because it means I have been surrounded by friends.
• I am thankful for the taxes I have to pay because it means I have a job and I am employed.
• I am thankful for the clothes that fit a little too snug because it means I have had enough to eat.
• I am thankful for the lawn that needs mowing, windows that need cleaning, gutters that need fixing because it means I have a home.
• I am thankful for all the complaining I do about the government because it means we have freedom of speech.
• I am thankful for the parking spot I find at the far end of the lot because it means I am capable of walking.
• I am thankful for my big heating bill because it means I am warm.
• (I love this one. Don’t look around. Don’t turn. Just listen.) I am thankful for the lady behind me in Church who sings off-key because it means I can hear.
• I am thankful for the piles of laundry and ironing because it means my loved ones are nearby.
• I am thankful for weariness and aching muscles at the end of the day because it means I have been productive.
• And finally, I am thankful for the alarm that goes off early in the morning because it means that I am still alive.

Posted by Amanda

Samantha and Hunter sure thinks your a great Grandma and Grandpa! Sam always wants to call you and asks when your gonna come meet her cat Max LOL! Thanks for being so great to our kids and us it means the world to us.

I feel that being a grandmother is one of the most fun things I've ever done. I have 4 of the sweetest grandkids and enjoy them a lot.

Hands

A basketball in my hands is worth about $19. A basketball in Michael Jordan's hands is worth about $33 million.It depends whose hands it's in. A baseball in my hands is worth about $6. A baseball in Johan Santana's hands is worth $4.75 million.It depends on whose hands it's in. A tennis racket is useless in my hands. A tennis racket in Venus Williams' hands is championship winning. It depends whose hands it's in. A rod in my hands will keep away a wild animalA rod in Moses' hands will part the mighty sea. It depends whose hands it's in. A sling shot in my hands is a kid's toyA sling shot in David's hand is a mighty weapon.It depends whose hands it's in. Two fish and 5 loaves of bread in my hands is a couple of fishsandwiches.Two fish and 5 loaves of bread in God's hands will feed thousands.It depends whose hands it's in. Nails in my hands might produce a birdhouse.Nails in Jesus Christ's hands willproduce salvation for the entire world.It depends whose hands it's in. As you see, now it depends whose hands it's in.So put your concerns, your worries, your fears,your hopes, your dreams, your familiesand your relationships in God's hands because...It depends whose hands it's in.

"For every minute you are angry, you lose 60 seconds of happiness." -Ralph Waldo Emerson

LIFE is not measured by the number of breaths we take- but by the moments that take our breath away.

Lessons on Life There was a man who had four sons. He wanted his sons to learn not to judge things too quickly. So he sent them each on a quest, in turn, to go and lookat a pear tree that was a great distance away.The first son went in the winter, the second in the spring, the third in summer, and the youngest son in the fall. When they had all gone and come back, he called them together to describe what they had seen. The first son said that the tree was ugly, bent, and twisted. The second son said no it was covered with green buds and full of promise. The third son disagreed; he said it was laden with blossoms that smelled so sweet and looked so beautiful, it was the most graceful thing he had ever seen. The last son disagreed with all of them; he said it was ripe and drooping with fruit, full of life and fulfillment. The man then explained to his sons that they were all right, because they had each seen but only one season in the tree's life.He told them that you cannot judge a tree, or a person, by only one season, and that the essence of who they are and the pleasure, joy, and love that come from that life can only be measured at the end, when all the seasons are up.If you give up when it's winter, you will miss the promise of your spring,the beauty of your summer, the fulfillment of your fall. Moral Don't let the pain of one season destroy the joy of all the rest. Don't judge life by one difficult season. Persevere through the difficult patchesand better times are sure to come. Ecclesiastes 3 1. To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven: 2. A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted; 3. A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; 4. A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; 5. A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; 6. A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away; 7. A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;

Hard Times

IF you are 30 or older you will think this is hilarious!!!! When I was a kid, adults used to bore me to tears with their tedious diatribes about how hard things were when they were growing up; what with walking twenty-five miles to school every morning . uphill BOTH ways through year 'round blizzards. Carrying their younger siblings on their backs ... to their one-room schoolhouse, where they maintained a Straight-A average, despite their full-time, after-school job at the local textile mill .. where they worked for 35 cents an hour just to help keep their family from starving to death! And I remember promising myself that when I grew up, there was no way I was going to lay a bunch of crap like that on kids about how hard I had it and how easy they've got it! But now that... I'm over the ripe old age of thirty, I can't help but look around and notice the youth of today. You've got it so easy! I mean, compared to my childhood, you live in a Utopia! And I hate to say it but you kids today you don't know how good you've got it! I mean, when I was a kid we didn't have the Internet. If we wanted to know something, we had to go to library and look it up ourselves, in the card catalog!! There was no email! We had to actually write somebody a letter ... with a pen! Then you had to walk all the way across the street and put it in the mailbox and it would take like a week to get there! There were no MP3's or Napsters! You wanted to steal music, you had to hitchhike to the record store and shoplift it yourself! Or you had to wait around all day to tape it off the radio and the DJ'd usually talk over the beginning and goof it all up! We didn't have fancy crap like Call Waiting! If you were on the phone and somebody else called they got a busy signal, that's it! And we didn't have fancy Caller ID Boxes either! When the phone rang, you had no idea who it was! It could be your school, your mom, your boss, your bookie, a collections agent, you just didn't know!!! You had to pick it up and take your chances, mister! We didn't have any fancy Sony Playstation video games with high-resolution 3-D graphics! We had the Atari 2600! With games like "Space Invaders" and "Asteroids" and the graphics were a joke! Your guy was a little square! You actually had to use your imagination! And there were no multiple levels or screens, it was just one screen forever! And you could never win. The game just kept getting harder and harder and faster and faster until you died! ... Just like LIFE! When you went to the movie theater there was no such thing as stadium seating! All the seats were the same height! If a tall guy or some old broad with a hat sat in front of you and you couldn't see, you were just screwed! Sure, we had cable television, but back then that was only like 15 channels and there was no onscreen menu and no remote control! You had to use a little book called a TV Guide to find out what was on! You were screwed when it came to channel surfing! You had to get off your butt and walk over to the TV to change the channel and there was no Cartoon Network either! You could only get cartoons on Saturday Morning. Do you hear what I'm saying!?! We had to wait ALL WEEK for cartoons, you spoiled little brats! And we didn't have microwaves, if we wanted to heat something up ... we had to use the stove or go build a frigging fire ... imagine that! If we wanted popcorn, we had to use that stupid JiffyPop thing and shake it over the stove forever like an idiot. That's exactly what I'm talking about! You kids today have got it too easy. You're spoiled. You guys wouldn't have lasted five minutes back in 1980!

WE ALL NEED A LITTLE HUMOR......... Sign over a Gynecologist's Office: "Dr. Jones, at your cervix." ************************************* In a Podiatrist's office: "Time wounds all heels." ************************** On a Septic Tank Truck in Oregon : "Yesterday's Meals on Wheels" ! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ On a Septic Tank Truck: "We're #1 in the #2 business." ************************** On a Septic Tank Truck in Arizona : The ROYAL Flush ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ At a Proctologist's door: "To expedite your visit please back in." ************************** On a Plumber's truck: "We repair what your husband fixed." ************************** On a Plumber's truck: "Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber.." ************************** Pizza Shop Slogan: "7 days without pizza makes one weak." ************************** At a Tire Shop in Milwaukee : "Invite us to your next blowout." ************************** On a Plastic Surgeon's Office door: "Hello. Can we pick your nose?" ************************** At a Towing company: "We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows." ************************** On an Electrician's truck: "Let us remove your shorts." ************************** In a Nonsmoking Area: "If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action." ************************** On a Maternity Room door: "Push. Push. Push." ************************** At an Optometrist's Office : "If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place." ************************** On a Taxidermist's window: "We really know our stuff." ************************** On a Fence: "Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive." ************************** At a Car Dealership: "The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment." ************************** Outside a Muffler Shop: "No appointment necessary. We hear you coming." ************************** In a Veterinarian's waiting room: "Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!" ************************** At the Electric Company: "We would be de-lighted if you send in your payment. However, if you don't, you will be." ************************** In a Restaurant window: "Don't stand there and be hungry, Come on in and get fed up." ************************** In the front yard of a Funeral Home: "Drive carefully. We'll wait." ************************** At a Propane Filling Station, "Thank heaven for little grills." ************************** And don't forget the sign at a Chicago Radiator Shop: " Best place in town to take a leak." ************************** On a garbage truck in Alaska: "Satisfaction guaranteed, or double your garbage back!" ************************** On a fence: "Trespassers will be violated" ************************** On a cash register: "In God we trust. All others pay cash." ************************** In a retail store: "Children left unattended will be given a kitten." ************************** On the fence of a hotel swimming pool: "We don't swim in your toilet - please don't pee in our pool!" **************************

LIFE IN THE 1500'S These are interesting. Most people got married in June, because they took their yearly bath in May and still smelled pretty good by June. However, they were starting to smell, so brides carried a bouquet of flowers to hide the body odor. Hence the custom today of carrying a bouquet when getting married. Baths consisted of a big tub filled with hot water. The man of the house had the privilege of the nice clean water, then all the other sons and men, then the women and finally the children! Last of all the babies. By then the water was so dirty you could actually lose someone in it. Hence the saying, "Don't throw the baby out with the bath water." Houses had thatched roofs-thick straw-piled high, with no wood underneath. It was the only place for animals to get warm, so all the cats and other small animals (mice, bugs) lived in the roof. When it rained it became slippery and sometimes the animals would slip and off the roof. Hence the saying "It's raining cats and dogs." There was nothing to stop things from falling into the house. This posed a real problem in the bedroom where bugs and other droppings could mess up your nice clean bed. Hence, a bed with big posts and a sheet hung over the top afforded some protection. That's how canopy beds came into existence. The floor was dirt. Only the wealthy had something other than dirt. Hence the saying "dirt poor." The wealthy had slate floors that would get slippery in the winter when wet, so they spread thresh (straw) on floor to help keep their footing. As the winter wore on, they added more thresh until when you opened the door it would all start slipping outside. A piece of wood was placed in the entranceway. Hence the saying a "thresh hold." (Getting quite an education, aren't you?) In those old days, they cooked in the kitchen with a big kettle that always hung over the fire. Every day they lit the fire and added things to the pot. They ate mostly vegetables and did not get much meat. They would eat the stew for dinner, leaving leftovers in the pot to get cold overnight and then start over the next day. Sometimes stew had food in it that had been there for quite a while. Hence the rhyme, "Peas porridge hot, peas porridge cold, peas porridge in the pot nine days old." Sometimes they could obtain pork, which made them feel quite special. When visitors came over, they would hang up their bacon to show off. It was a sign of wealth that a man could "bring home the bacon." They would cut off a little to share with guests and would all sit around and "chew the fat." Those with money had plates made of pewter. Food with high acid content caused some of the lead to leach onto the food, causing lead poisoning death. This happened most often with tomatoes, so for the next 400 years or so, tomatoes were considered poisonous. Bread was divided according to status. Workers got the burnt bottom of the loaf, the family got the middle, and guests got the top, or "upper crust." Lead cups were used to drink ale or whisky. The combination would sometimes knock the imbibers out for a couple of days. Someone walking along the road would take them for dead and prepare them for burial. They were laid out on the kitchen table for a couple of days and the family would gather around and eat and drink and wait and see if they would wake up. Hence the custom of holding a "wake." England is old and small and the local folks started running out of places to bury people. So they would dig up coffins and would take the bones to a "bone-house" and reuse the grave. When reopening these coffins, 1 out of 25 coffins were found t have scratch marks on the inside and they realized they had been burying people alive. So they would tie a string on the wrist of the corpse, lead it through the coffin and up through the ground and tie it to a bell. Someone would have to sit out in the graveyard all night (the "graveyard shift") to listen for the bell; thus, someone could be "saved by the bell" or was considered a "dead ringer." And that's the truth... Now, whoever said that History is

TO ALL THE KIDS

First, we survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or drank while they were pregnant. They took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing, tuna from a can, and didn't get tested for diabetes. Then after that trauma, we were put to sleep on our tummies in baby cribs covered with bright colored lead-based paints. We had no child proof lids on medicine bottles, doors or cabinets and when we rode our bikes, we had no helmets, not to mention, the risks we took hitchhiking. As infants & children, we would ride in cars with no car seats, booster seats, seat belts or air bags. Riding in the back of a pick up on a warm day was always a special treat. We drank water from the garden hose and NOT from a bottle. We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle and NO ONE actually died from this. We ate cupcakes, white bread and real butter and drank Kool-Aid made with sugar, but we weren't overweight because . WE WERE ALWAYS OUTSIDE PLAYING! We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when the street lights came on. No one was able to reach us all day. And we were O.K. We would spend hours building our go-carts out of scraps and then ride down the hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes. After running into the bushes a few times, we learned to solve the problem. We did not have Playstations, Nintendo, X-boxes, no video games at all, no 150 channels on cable, no video movies or DVDs, no surround-sound or CD's, no cell phones, no personal computers, no Internet or chat rooms.......... WE HAD FRIENDS and we went outside and found them! We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth and there were no lawsuits from these accidents. We ate worms and mud pies made from dirt, and the worms did not live in us forever. We were given BB guns for our 10Th birthdays, made up games with sticks and tennis balls and, although we were told it would happen, we did not put out very many eyes. We rode bikes or walked to a friend's house and knocked on the door or rang the bell, or just walked in and talked to them! Little League had try outs and not everyone made the team. Those who didn't had to learn to deal with disappointment. Imagine that!! The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law was unheard of. They actually sided with the law! These generations have produced some of the best risk-takers, problem solvers and inventors ever! The past 50 years have been an explosion of innovation and new ideas. We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned HOW TO DEAL WITH IT ALL! If YOU are one of them . . CONGRATULATIONS! You might want to share this with others who have had the luck to grow up as kids, before the lawyers and the government regulated so much of our lives for our own good. And while you are at it, forward it to your kids so they will know how brave (and lucky) their parents were. Kind of makes you want to run through the house with scissors, doesn't it?! --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Smile Makers

1. How Do You Catch a Unique Rabbit? Unique Up On It. 2 How Do You Catch a Tame Rabbit? Tame Way, Unique Up On It. 3. How Do Crazy People Go Through The Forest? They Take The Psycho Path 4. How Do You Ge t Holy Water? You Boil The Hell Out Of It. 5. What Do Fish Say When They Hit a Concrete Wall? Dam! 6. What Do Eskimos Get From Sitting On The Ice too Long? Polaroids 7. What Do You Call a Boomerang That Doesn't work? A Stick 8.. What Do You Call Cheese That Isn't Yours? Nacho Cheese. 9.. What Do You Call Santa's Helpers? Subordinate Clauses. 10. What Do You Call Four Bullfighters In Quicksand? Quattro Sinko.. 11. What Do You Get From a Pampered Cow? Spoiled Milk. 12. What Do You Get When You Cross a Snowman With a Vampire? Frostbite. 13. What Lies At The Bottom Of The Ocean And Twitches? A Nervous Wreck. 14. What's The Difference Between Roast Beef And Pea Soup? Anyone Can Roast Beef. Can you pea soup? 15. Where Do You Find a Dog With No Legs? Right Where You Left Him. 16. Why Do Gorillas Have Big Nostrils? Because They Have Big Fingers. 17. Why Don't Blind People Like To Sky Dive? Because It Scares The Dog. 18. What Kind Of Coffee Was Served On The Titanic? Sanka. 19. What Is The Difference Between a Harley And a Hoover? The Location Of The Dirt Bag. 20. Why Did Pilgrims' Pants Always Fall Down? Because They Wore Their Belt Buckle On Their Hat. 21. What's The Difference Between a Bad Golfer And a Bad Skydiver? A Bad Golfer Goes, Whack, Dang! A Bad Skydiver Goes Dang! Whack. 22. How Are a Texas Tornado And a Tennessee Divorce The Same? Somebody's Gonna Lose A Trailer

Christian One Liners

1."Don't let your worries get the best of you; remember,Moses started out as a basket case." 2. Some people are kind, polite, and sweet-spirited - until you try to sit in their pews. 3. Many folks want to serve God, but only as advisers. 4. It is easier to preach ten sermons than it is to live one. 5. The good Lord didn't create anything without a purpose, but mosquitoes come close. 6. When you get to your wit's end, you'll find God lives there. 7. People are funny; they want the front of the bus, the middle of the road, and the back of the church. 8. Opportunity may knock once, but temptation leans on the bell. 9. Quit griping about your church; if it was perfect, you couldn't belong. 10. The phrase that is guaranteed to wake up an audience: "And in conclusion." 11. If the church wants a better pastor, it only needs to pray for the one it has. 12. God Himself does not propose to judge a man until he is dead. So why should you? 13. To make a long story short, don't tell it. 14. Some minds are like concrete, thoroughly mixed up and permanently set. 15. Peace starts with a smile. 16. I don't know why some people change churches; what difference does it make which one you stay home from? 17. A lot of church members who are singing "Standing on the Promises" are just sitting on the premises. 18. We were called to be witnesses, not lawyers or judges. 19. Outside of traffic, there is nothing that holds this country back as much as committees. 20. Be ye fishers of men. You catch them - He'll clean them. 21. Coincidence is when God chooses to remain anonymous. 22. Don't put a question mark where God put a period. 23. Don't wait for six strong men to take you to church. 24. Forbidden fruits create many jams. 25. God doesn't call the qualified; He qualifies the called. 26. God grades on the cross, not the curve. 27. God loves everyone, but probably prefers "fruits of the spiritover religious nuts!" 28. God promises a safe landing, not a calm passage. 29. He who angers you, controls you! 30. If God is your Copilot - swap seats! 31. Prayer: Don't give God instructions-just report for duty! 32. The task ahead of us is never as great as the power behind us. 33. The Will of God will never take you to where the Grace of God will not protect you. 34. We don't change the message; the message changes us. 35. You can tell how big a person is by what it takes to discourage him. 36. The best mathematical equation I have ever seen: 1 cross + 3 nails = 4 given.

Mean Moms

Someday when my children are old enough to understand the logic that motivates a parent, I will tell them, as my Mean Mom told me: I loved you enough . . . to ask where you were going, with whom, and what time you would be home. I loved you enough to be silent and let you discover that your new best friend was a creep. I loved you enough to make you go pay for the bubble gum you had taken and tell the clerk, "I stole this yesterday and want to pay for it." I loved you enough to stand over you for two hours while you cleaned your room, a job that should have taken 15 minutes. I loved you enough to let you see anger, disappointment, and tears in my eyes. Children must learn that their parents aren't perfect. I loved you enough to let you assume the responsibility for your actions even when the penalties were so harsh they almost broke my heart. But most of all, I loved you enough . . . to say NO when I knew you would hate me for it. Those were the most difficult battles of all. I'm glad I won them, because in the end you won, too. And someday when your children are old enough to understand the logic that motivates parents, you will tell them. Was your Mom mean? I know mine was. We had the meanest mother in the whole world! While other kids ate candy for breakfast, we had to have cereal, eggs, and toast. When others had a Pepsi and a Twinkie for lunch, we had to eat sandwiches. And you can guess our mother fixed us a dinner that was different from what other kids had, too. Mother insisted on knowing where we were at all times. You'd think we were convicts in a prison. She had to know who our friends were, and what we were doing with them. She insisted that if we said we would be gone for an hour, we would be gone for an hour or less. We were ashamed to admit it, but she had the nerve to break the Child Labor Laws by making us work. We had to wash the dishes, make the beds, learn to cook, vacuum the floor, do laundry, empty the trash and all sorts of cruel jobs. I think she would lie awake at night thinking of more things for us to do. She always insisted on us telling the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. By the time we were teenagers, she could read our minds and had eyes in the back of her head. Then, life was really tough! Mother wouldn't let our friends just honk the horn when they drove up. They had to come up to the door so she could meet them. While everyone else could date when they were 12 or 13, we had to wait until we were 16. Because of our mother, we missed out on lots of things other kids experienced. None of us have ever been caught shoplifting, vandalizing other's property or ever arrested for any crime. It was all her fault. Now that we have left home, we are all educated, honest adults. We are doing our best to be mean parents just like Mom was. I think that is what's wrong with the world today.

It just doesn't have enough mean moms! I guess when it comes to Christopher, I wasn't mean enough!

This Weeks Thought

Any time you sincerely want to make a change, the first thing you must do is to raise your standards. When people ask me what really changed my life eight years ago, I tell them that absolutely the most important thing was changing what I demanded of myself. I wrote down all the things I would no longer accept in my life, all the things I would no longer tolerate, and all the things that I aspired to becoming. Anthony Robbins

Thought for the Day Before Yesterday

Habits begin as cobwebs and then become cables. ----- Anonymous

Thought for Yesterday

There is little difference in people, but that little difference makes a big difference. That little difference is attitude. The big difference is whether it is positive or negative. W. Clement Stone (1902-2002, American businessman, author, founder of Combined Insurance Companies)

Thought for the Day

The greatest discovery of my generation is that you can change your circumstances by changing your attitudes of mind. ----- William James

This Weeks Laugh

My friend Melissa sent this to me. I thought you'd get a chuckle out of it. You can't read this and stay in a bad mood 1. How Do You Catch a Unique Rabbit? Unique Up On It. 2 How Do You Catch a Tame Rabbit? Tame Way, Unique Up On It. 3. How Do Crazy People Go Through The Forest? They Take The Psycho Path 4. How Do You Ge t Holy Water? You Boil The Hell Out Of It. 5. What Do Fish Say When They Hit a Concrete Wall? Dam! 6. What Do Eskimos Get From Sitting On The Ice too Long? Polaroids 7. What Do You Call a Boomerang That Doesn't work? A Stick 8.. What Do You Call Cheese That Isn't Yours? Nacho Cheese. 9.. What Do You Call Santa's Helpers? Subordinate Clauses. 10. What Do You Call Four Bullfighters In Quicksand? Quattro Sinko.. 11. What Do You Get From a Pampered Cow? Spoiled Milk. 12. What Do You Get When You Cross a Snowman With a Vampire? Frostbite. 13. What Lies At The Bottom Of The Ocean And Twitches? A Nervous Wreck. 14. What's The Difference Between Roast Beef And Pea Soup? Anyone Can Roast Beef. Can you pea soup? 15. Where Do You Find a Dog With No Legs? Right Where You Left Him. 16. Why Do Gorillas Have Big Nostrils? Because They Have Big Fingers. 17. Why Don't Blind People Like To Sky Dive? Because It Scares The Dog. 18. What Kind Of Coffee Was Served On The Titanic? Sanka. 19. What Is The Difference Between a Harley And a Hoover? The Location Of The Dirt Bag. 20. Why Did Pilgrims' Pants Always Fall Down? Because They Wore Their Belt Buckle On Their Hat. 21. What's The Difference Between a Bad Golfer And a Bad Skydiver? A Bad Golfer Goes, Whack, Dang! A Bad Skydiver Goes Dang! Whack. 22. How Are a Texas Tornado And a Tennessee Divorce The Same? Somebody's Gonna Lose A Trailer Now, admit it. At least one of these made you smile !!! Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is a gift from God that is why it is called the present.

20 Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level of Insanity!

1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car withsunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars.See if they slow down. 2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguiseyour voice. 3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask ifthey want fries with that. 4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it"IN". 5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Onceeveryone has gotten over their caffeine addictions,switch to espresso. 6. In the memo field of all your checks, write "forsmuggling diamonds". 7. Finish all your sentences with "in accordance withthe prophecy". 8. Don't use any punctuation. 9. As often as possible, skip rather than walk. 10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat -with a serious face. 11. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go". 12. Sing along at the opera. 13. Put mosquito netting around your work area andplay tropical sounds all day at work. 14. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don'trhyme. 15. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can'tattend their party because you're not in the mood. 16. Have your coworkers address you by your wrestlingname, Rock Bottom. 17. When the money comes out the ATM, scream "I won! Iwon!" 18. When leaving the zoo, start running towards theparking lot yelling, "run for your lives, they're loose!!" 19. Tell your children over dinner "due to theeconomy, we are going to have to let one of you go." 20. And the final way to keep a healthy level ofinsanity . . . e-mail this to someone to make them smile and laugh. Its called therapy.

Thought for the Day

Expect trouble as an inevitable part of life, and when it comes,

hold your head high. Look it squarely in the eye, and say,

"I will be bigger than you. You cannot defeat me."

-Ann Landers

Samantha Marie Goldsmith

November 1st of 2005 I became a grandmother for the first time. I love being a grandma all though I don't like how old it makes me feel. I'm lucky because Samantha lives near me and I can see her as much as I want. She'd 3 months old now and has started to giggle. She tends to be a Grandpa's girl but occasionally she wants me. What a blessing she is in our lives!

Housework

I got the following E-mail from my aunt. This describes what I feel about housekeeping! I don't do windows because ...I love birds and don't want one to run into a clean window and get hurt. I don't wax floors because ... I am terrified a guest will slip and get hurt then I'll feel terrible( plus they may sue me.) I don't mind the dust bunnies because . They are very good company, I have named most of them, and they agree with everything I say. I don't disturb cobwebs because .. I want every creature to have a home of their own. I don't Spring Clean because ... I love all the seasons and don't want the others to get jealous. I don't pull weeds in the garden because .. I don't want to get in God's way, HE is an excellent designer! I don't put things away because ... My husband will never be able to find them again. I don't do gourmet meals when I entertain because ... I don't want my guests to stress out over what to make when they invite me over for dinner. I don't iron because ... I choose to believe them when they say "Permanent Press". I don't stress much on anything because ..."A Type" personalities die young and I want to stick around and become a wrinkled up crusty ol' woman!!!!

Thought for the Day

If you love someone, you have no time to judge them. Mother Teresa

I feel bad about all of the trouble there has been over the cartoons about the Prophet Muhammed. I found this funny cartoon about the prophet of our church. I think he'd get a good laugh out of it if he saw it. He has a good sense of humor.

Thought For The Day:

Don't Bounce Until You Get To The Bumps In The Road!