WE ALL NEED A LITTLE HUMOR......... Sign over a Gynecologist's Office: "Dr. Jones, at your cervix." ************************************* In a Podiatrist's office: "Time wounds all heels." ************************** On a Septic Tank Truck in Oregon : "Yesterday's Meals on Wheels" ! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ On a Septic Tank Truck: "We're #1 in the #2 business." ************************** On a Septic Tank Truck in Arizona : The ROYAL Flush ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ At a Proctologist's door: "To expedite your visit please back in." ************************** On a Plumber's truck: "We repair what your husband fixed." ************************** On a Plumber's truck: "Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber.." ************************** Pizza Shop Slogan: "7 days without pizza makes one weak." ************************** At a Tire Shop in Milwaukee : "Invite us to your next blowout." ************************** On a Plastic Surgeon's Office door: "Hello. Can we pick your nose?" ************************** At a Towing company: "We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows." ************************** On an Electrician's truck: "Let us remove your shorts." ************************** In a Nonsmoking Area: "If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action." ************************** On a Maternity Room door: "Push. Push. Push." ************************** At an Optometrist's Office : "If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place." ************************** On a Taxidermist's window: "We really know our stuff." ************************** On a Fence: "Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive." ************************** At a Car Dealership: "The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment." ************************** Outside a Muffler Shop: "No appointment necessary. We hear you coming." ************************** In a Veterinarian's waiting room: "Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!" ************************** At the Electric Company: "We would be de-lighted if you send in your payment. However, if you don't, you will be." ************************** In a Restaurant window: "Don't stand there and be hungry, Come on in and get fed up." ************************** In the front yard of a Funeral Home: "Drive carefully. We'll wait." ************************** At a Propane Filling Station, "Thank heaven for little grills." ************************** And don't forget the sign at a Chicago Radiator Shop: " Best place in town to take a leak." ************************** On a garbage truck in Alaska: "Satisfaction guaranteed, or double your garbage back!" ************************** On a fence: "Trespassers will be violated" ************************** On a cash register: "In God we trust. All others pay cash." ************************** In a retail store: "Children left unattended will be given a kitten." ************************** On the fence of a hotel swimming pool: "We don't swim in your toilet - please don't pee in our pool!" **************************